Love Is In The Air
| It is the month of love and romance. Did you know that Valentine’s Day originated as a celebration of Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine? All over the world, this day in history has evolved into a day to celebrate love and romance. I am really not sure yet how the two are related but Hallmark and your local flower shop likely don’t care, right? But as commerce is booming and all the local shops are selling out of Prosecco and Champaign all over the world (On a side note, can you tell me the origins of these two wines?), have you stopped and considered how critical it is to start with you? Have you thought of what you will do for your loved ones this month? Do you buy silly things for your significant other, your friends or your children. I have never been sure exactly how I feel about valentines day. It is definitely a mixed bunch of feelings but I do know it is a great opportunity for us to pump the breaks and say, have we thought about ourselves first? Most of us wake up every day thinking of what we need to do for everyone else. We have jobs, children, houses with mortgages, aging parents, sick cousins, sad friends… Okay it isn’t likely that bad. Clearly, I digress but you get the point. Now you’re probably thinking, “Well, isn’t is a good thing to focus on others?. Are you saying not to buy my friend that 10 foot pink bear?” Of course not. Get the bear. I will even help you pick it out. I love shopping for 10 foot pink bears. But did you think to get yourself one? I will be the first one to buy the pink bear or to lay down my life for another human in need. However, I am the last person to look in the mirror and say something positive. Self- love is tough. Remembering to buy yourself the bear is tough. Remembering to say, I look great instead of these jeans make my fat look fat is tough. I am sure we all have our favorite punching phrase; one of the many other horrid things we tell ourselves. What if you told your friend… The pink bear friend …that she looked so skinny that you thought she looked like death? I bet you wouldn’t be friends long. But we say these things to ourselves. How do we put a stop to the negative self talk? We have to begin by giving from a full self. Fully rested. Fully rejuvenated. Have you ever noticed when you are bit unrested and maybe have had a fully than normal week that your self talk gets a bit worse? Maybe this just happens to me. If you are giving from emptiness how long can that be sustained. But to give from fullness, a well rested mind, a strengthened spirit, a full heart of love. Imagine how much more you can do for yourself and others. Think about it from a tangible perspective. We have all heard at some point in our lives if you loss oxygen on a plane, when the masks drop from the ceiling put your mask on first. Why? Because if you don’t then you potentially could pass out before you get a mask on your sleeping child. This is the same application of the day to day need for putting your mask on first but we get so caught up in life’s demands we truly forget. I came last in my world. It is not intentional but I have so many things happening that it sometimes just happens that way. I don’t get enough sleep or I am too busy to make a proper meal for myself. Learning to love ourselves is difficult. We have typically looked to others for validation even. Maybe it is your parents, your spouse, your boss who gave you love and validation whereas the nature of man is to be ones worst critical. Learning how to love yourself against this natural grain however can come with great benefits. How learning Self-Love positively affect your life? If you create your own love for yourself, no one else can take it from you.You will thrive with a positive outlook on yourself.You learn what you do and do not need in your life.You know exactly who your true self is.You have full control and are no longer codependent on others for validation.You genuinely make your life more positive seeing your beauty and areas that may need improvement versus being negative about all of the wonders of who you are.You learn to enjoy life with others rather than depending on them to help you enjoy it.You live instead of surviving. (Remember the oxygen. We want to be able to breathe freely.) How do we learn how to love ourselves mentally? Give yourself grace. This a learning process and it’s not an easy feat. Slowly correct negative self talk and replace it with positive affirmations. When you look in the mirror and you want to say, I am old. I am fat. I am (what is your enemy?). Instead say, I am beautiful. I am a great mother (father.) I am a dependable (?).Throw perfectionism out, you are human not perfect. Achieving self-love, will not be perfect either. It will take time to find your words of affirmation but start today.Are the people closest to you positively impacting your life? If not it may be time to make some adjustments in how you spend your time.Do you need to make changes in your life so that you can truly love yourself?Think about how you love other people and do those things for yourself. Is your love language gift giving? Then buy yourself a gift.Feed your brain with positivity.Allow yourself to say no. It’s not a bad word.You are never obligated to say yes.Create boundaries for a healthier you. How do we learn how to love ourselves physically? Get plenty of sleep. Every doctor I have ever talked to has told me this is the number one thing this is the most important.Eat well. Yep. You guessed it. This is the second most important.And third… Exercise.But you have lots of choices after those critical three:Take a bubble bath.Listen to music that makes you happy.Go shopping and look at crazy things you would never buy.Take yourself to dinner.Make appointments for yourself to do the things you love and protect that time.Eat healthy foods. You would be amazed at how much better you will feel.Don’t be hard on your physical self. I don’t buy into this new every shape is healthy craze but I do believe we are all made differently of all shapes, sizes and colors. Find your healthiest version for you.Read a great book. I’ve read a poem that has sat with me. It reads: What is BOUNDARY Be aware Of what is Unacceptable and Normalize saying no. Do what is best for you And know that it’s not your Responsibility to sacrifice Yourself for others. Like anything in life, this has to be learned and studied. Most of us are not used to being kind to ourselves each day. Many Americans don’t get enough rest, ever. Eating well is tough. I get it but it is integral in living our best life. Your cup has to be full in order to fill someone else’s. You deserve it and owe it to yourself. So in this month of love I want to tell you that you are loved and you deserve to be loved. That love is within all of us to give to the world with grace and beauty but I want us to remember to hold that mirror up to reflect all of that goodness onto ourselves. As we go forth into this month of love and romance lets start with self. |
